Wednesday, January 28, 2009


1. I feel like we're drifting apart, and I don't know what to do about it. I think it's because of him, and I hate saying that because I know you're happy...but I really think that's the reason. I liked you better when you were single. Is that so horrible of me? I'm glad you're happy and oh so in love, but I want to go back when I was the one person that could make you laugh and smile when you were having a bad day. Your best friend. Not the second person. Especially since he sees you ten times more each week than I do.

2. You're a really nice guy, and I have fun when we hang out. But I am not ready to even start seeing someone, and I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I need to focus on myself right now. I don't like who I am as a person, let alone love, and I need to change that. I need me-time. I really am so sorry. On the possibly-one-day-bright-side, if it's meant to be, it will happen...eventually.

3. Your story doesn't match up with hers. I need you to tell me the truth. I need you to tell me which of you is lying. I don't care if it's you, I won't be mad. What happened with that whole saved me. I honestly don't know where I'd be if it hadn't happened. Far, far, much farther down this road, I'm sure. I need closure. I need to know the truth.

4. I need you. And you need me. We need each other. I wish you weren't grounded. There is so much I have to tell you...I don't even know where to start. Sorry I haven't been texting lately. I haven't really been texting too many people lately, so you're not the only one. Don't worry. I love you and I miss you and like I said, I need you. I am lost. I am still so lost.

5. I hope you don't look down upon me for what I did. I know you feel awkward about the whole situation, and so do I. But shit happens. I love you and I hope you still love me. We're family. And we always will be. Right?

6. I hate that you're back to ignoring me. I thought we were finally okay. Just because he's out, it's gonna start back up again? I know I tried to make amends with him, and I will continue to try, but why do you have to ignore me because of it? You even finally said you loved me again...

I might write more later...but I need to shower and eat breakfast.

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