Monday, November 10, 2008

why do you put me on a pedastal?

i'm so up high that i can't see the ground below.

In all honesty, I'm scared. My parents are getting divorced and I don't know what to think of it. I just want my parents to be happy, and they know that. But it isn't really affecting me. I don't know when it will set in, if it ever will. I'm scared that it is going to affect me more than I want it to, and at the worst possible time.
On top of that, I don't want to get hurt again. I mean, I'm used to it so it won't be that big of deal if it does happen, but it really sucks. I'm always the one scaring people away and getting my heart stepped on. All I really want is someone to talk to, cuddle with, kiss, and have fun with. Is that a boyfriend? I'm not sure. I'm trying to go with the flow for once and it's working. But I'm still afraid of what may or may not happen. I can't help it. It's how I am. I'm a worry-wart. Grrrr.

But I really should get going. I'm late, yet again.


Tiffany said...

well, if or when it does set in,
i'll be here for you, kay?

i'll always be here for you nuhnay.

janaerhianna said...

thanks, tiffany.
it means a lot to me.