"The future will laugh at us for the way we did things."
Sunday, October 26, 2008
in the moment, it felt so right
"It's your Piscean vulnerability that makes you so attractive to others. It's also what has gotten you whacked so many times. You're attractive, yes, but you're not exactly right for the usual leading romantic roles. There usually has to be some tragic, ironic, weird, or science fiction twist to your love story, because no matter how many breast implants or hair plugs you get, you're just not the old-fashioned traditional guy-meets-girl-girl-kisses-guy-fade-out type of person. You'd like to be. You try to be, but you are not. You have an enormous yearning need to be loved and to have the security of a family. Maybe, probably, definitely, you didn't feel wanted, loved, nourished, and secure early enough, and it could well have impeded normal social development.
In high school it has to be awful to feel 'different,' but as you get older those same differences become your talent and your trademark. They can bring admiration and recognition from a world that appreciates and reveres your special talent and uniqueness. Of course, that other thing still lurks somewhere between your heart and your stomach. You're so sensitive to rejection and obsessed with having a 'normal' love relationship. Yet you can be so un-Piscean in your efforts to find love. Instead of being open and understanding and allowing the Universe to provide you with what you need, you can be moody, clinging, possessive, demanding, overattached, jealous, and dependent. Major turnoff. Instead of getting the love you need, you could actually destroy the moment. It's certainly not out of malice. It's out of the desire to protect and nurture those you love. It's just that dependency is such a touchy issue and you are still so sensitive about the mothering thing.
Sometimes you have to tear yourself away and go do your thing in the world. You do have a significant contribution you have to make. Your responsibilities to the world are on a bigger, more global scale, and will not permit you to indulge in as much ecstasy or personal grief as you may think you need. If allowed, you'd be swallowed up by either or both. Success awaits you, provided you can spend less time in self-indulgent searches for a mommy you never had.
At this point you need to probe more deeply into your obsession with being properly care for, to the point that you could become fiercely clinging and overattached to lovers or kids."
I believe that life is about lessons, and I still have a lot of them left to learn.
We are all treasure chests of talents, insights, and remarkable gifts. It just takes time for some us to discover what we are capable of.