is forever enough?

I don't mean to offend anyone, but to me, religion is an idea. A bunch of people follow some random beliefs that may not even be real. They just believe it, so it must be true. Just because something is written in a book, doesn't make it true. Unless it is proven by scientists, I have no reason to believe in it. I'm sure when I say all this that some people will then say, "Oh, so you're basically saying you don't believe in love?" No, I definitely believe in love. Because I feel it. But I don't feel God. And I don't feel that being gay is a choice. Some people are just born that way. It's just the way it is. I don't feel that someone created me. I just feel like I exist. I will never know how but that is how I see it. For all I know, I could be a character in someone's dream. Or nightmare. Or maybe I'm someone's imaginary friend. And I have this elaborate life that my five year old pal tells her friends about. But the truth is, we don't know. Maybe we'll never know. Chances are we won't. Life is what it is. Why do we have to wonder so much? Why do we have to ask so many questions? Why do people have to know everything about everything? Why can't we just let things be?

On another note, I want to stop being so predictable. I need to stop being so predictable. I want to be spontaneous and exciting and fun and run through sprinklers in the cold of night when the stars are shining bright above me. I want to kiss a stranger and then run away so fast they think that it was just their imagination. I want to travel to a country that isn't very popular with a bunch of quarters and pass one out to every other five people that pass me by. I want to live. I feel like I'm missing out on some of the best parts of life.