time is standing still

"You will be feeling lots of conflicting emotions today, which might confuse and frustrate you. So instead of listening to your heart, start paying more attention to your brain. Move these emotional thoughts into your head so you can look at them more analytically. Getting your feelings organized will help you understand them better and send you into a much more productive phase. So instead of reacting to your feelings, start dissecting them."
-Pisces Daily Extended Horoscope from Yahoo

everything means nothing

R.I.P. Mitzi
(November 9th, 1997 - May 1st, 2009)

I don't even know what to say yet. I missed you before you were gone. I haven't cried this much and that hardly in a very long time. I love you so much. I wish I didn't have to say goodbye.

let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters

I have absolutely no motivation to write this paper (whatever, it's only a rough draft anyway). I am not even all that tired. Sleep sounds good and my bed sounds comfortable; that's all. I honestly want to write a paper (not right now, though) about how stupid papers are and how I have better things to do with my time like find the meaning to life. If I was high...oh, if I was high....


I have a problem with cravings. Like, is it possible to be a cravaholic? I am almost always craving something or other!

a lifetime of love in a matter of seconds

Every time I say goodbye to Grayson, I ask him for kiss, a hug, or even just a "knuckle shake" (in teen terms, pound it). He almost never gives me any of those; occasionally I'll get a knuckle shake. But today, my mom had come to pick me up from my sister's house after work. We were all just standing in the dining room and my sister was holding Grayson, and he leaned in to kiss me. It was the sweetest thing. I will forever cherish that moment. I wasn't even leaving at that moment, and he gave me a kiss. But of course, as I do go to leave, and my sister says "Grayson, give Janae a kiss and a hug, or a knuckle shake," he does as he usually does (or does NOT, rather) and didn't give me any of them. I didn't even care this time though. That one kiss will last me a lifetime. I love my nephew so much. I can't wait till he gets older and I drive and I can take him to Legoland!

the truth is hiding in your eyes

and it's hanging on your tongue



My ipod is being stupid.
I am craving a peach arizona.
Tiffany is coming to pick me up in like ten minutes.

I wish it was Juuuuune.
(license, possibly a car, chspe, EDC, summer!)









Btw, I hate when people say btw like"b-t-w." It's by the way.
Talk like a human being or get the hell away from me.


I wish I was an alien.
Catdog was probably an alien.
Lucky.

don't you say you're leaving

why don't you stay a little bit longer
got it going on and i just can't believe it
this feeling it just keeps getting stronger

I miss him, but don't think I don't miss you, too. Because I really do, and I'm sure my feelings are still there...but I told you that I didn't want to hurt you. I am ready to open up to you about a lot of things, and I want to tell you the story about him and me. Are you ready to hear it? I hope so. It will explain a lot to you probably and maybe you'll understand better why I did what I did. You are one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. I mean that with my whole heart. It's just really complicated. Everything is so fucking complicated. FML.

i need a little more, i think

because enough is never quite enough
what's enough?





It is so easy to just sit here.
To think, and sit, and think, and sit.
Staring at the ceiling and I feel dead alone.
Lost, but I know where I belong.
Finally.

What is the problem?
Is there a problem?
Define problem.

Life is always about defining, and learning,
and winning, and losing, and living, and dying.

What's the point?
What's enough? like the song says.

I want to find the answers.
But I don't even know what the questions are.

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing
would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And
contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would.
You see? It would be so nice if something made sense for a change."
- Alice In Wonderland




If life is the question, what is the answer?