Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
give me one reason to stay here
My mom was just on the phone with her boyfriend, and after their conversation was over, she said "I love you, too." I have no idea what I should be thinking right now. They have only been together for about a month, and she isn't even legally divorced from my dad yet. I miss my dad so much. I feel so bad for him. I wish I could live with him, just so he wouldn't be alone. Ugh. What the fuck?
live, love, die
If you are going to do stupid shit, like heroin, I am not going to want to be around you. Getting fucked up on pills and doing coke all the time, I'm not into that. You guys are my friends and I love you no matter what, but I am going to stick with weed. Even getting drunk every weekend, that's too much for me. Every once in a while is fun, but I don't need to drink to have fun. Weed is definitely the drug for me. I may not smoke weed my entire life, but I'm in high school and I like weed and I'm good for now. Life moves on and things will happen, but I am not going to hang out with people who do those dumb things.
R.I.P. Ant. You were a cool guy.
R.I.P. Ant. You were a cool guy.
mistakes become regrets
It's hard to look back on how happy I was, and then look at how unhappy I am now. Things are so different. What happened? I don't think I've ever been that happy. I hope I can find that happiness once again. I'm trying to be patient. But it's really hard.
I like you. I thought you liked me. I guess we'll see what happens. You're a great guy, but you confuse me to no end. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It feels like a bad one, but I could be wrong.
I'm wrong quite often.
What is love, anyway?
I like you. I thought you liked me. I guess we'll see what happens. You're a great guy, but you confuse me to no end. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It feels like a bad one, but I could be wrong.
I'm wrong quite often.
What is love, anyway?
Monday, March 2, 2009
i'll never be the same, i'll tell you for sure
It never leaves.
Pizzatopia, wearing your coat, Mud Man's house, Denjin arcade, when you first put your arm around me, falling asleep next to you, free ice cream, making that face at you, your laugh, your smile, the way you rocked out to your music in your car, listening to Circa Survive and just holding each other, keeping you out way past curfew, when you mouthed the words along with the song "Ecstasy" and sang it to me.
"You really are my ecstasy,
My real life fantasy"
How are those feelings mutual for a month,
and then just disappear for you and not me?
That isn't fair.
I don't want to feel this way anymore.
Go away.
Leave me alone.
I want to be done.
Pizzatopia, wearing your coat, Mud Man's house, Denjin arcade, when you first put your arm around me, falling asleep next to you, free ice cream, making that face at you, your laugh, your smile, the way you rocked out to your music in your car, listening to Circa Survive and just holding each other, keeping you out way past curfew, when you mouthed the words along with the song "Ecstasy" and sang it to me.
"You really are my ecstasy,
My real life fantasy"
How are those feelings mutual for a month,
and then just disappear for you and not me?
That isn't fair.
I don't want to feel this way anymore.
Go away.
Leave me alone.
I want to be done.
i've never seen you fall so hard
Nobody wants an obsessive girl.
But I am who I am.
OWNERS MANUAL
"At the bottom of the pile
buried, and missing a cover
there is a book.
It isn’t a popular book
and the author’s name
you’d never know.
But it is truly a work of art
written just for you.
Inside, somewhere near the middle pages,
there is a sentence
that best describes your life
and answers all the questions you’ve ever had.
Pure poetry.
It’s remarkable.
You’d agree.
Sadly,
you’ll never read it
because it is getting late
and you have work in the morning
and you are already thinking about
how to beat traffic."
-Dallas Clayton
But I am who I am.
OWNERS MANUAL
"At the bottom of the pile
buried, and missing a cover
there is a book.
It isn’t a popular book
and the author’s name
you’d never know.
But it is truly a work of art
written just for you.
Inside, somewhere near the middle pages,
there is a sentence
that best describes your life
and answers all the questions you’ve ever had.
Pure poetry.
It’s remarkable.
You’d agree.
Sadly,
you’ll never read it
because it is getting late
and you have work in the morning
and you are already thinking about
how to beat traffic."
-Dallas Clayton
Sunday, March 1, 2009
i wanna be forgotten
but i don't wanna be reminded
1. I have so many great memories, but the feelings attached to them are some of the worst feelings I've ever felt. It is impossible not to be reminded of you. The littlest things spark a thought in my mind, an old memory, one good day among many amazing ones. All I can think about anymore is how much I wish I could go back, and how I will never be able to. Things leave, people leave, and life doesn't stop for anybody. I will never forget you, but I need to forever let you go. I am trying with every inch of strength I have, but it's hard. One of the toughest things I've ever tried to do, and had to do.
2. I was so unsure of everything earlier today, and seeing you just now cleared so many of my cloudy thoughts from the sky that is my mind. Maybe I still don't know exactly what I want, but I at least know this.....you are amazing. Don't ever forget that, babe.
3. You are a truly great guy. I may not know you as well as your family and friends do, but I can see it in you. You are an all around great person. I adore you, I really do.....but the thing is, there are too many cons with our situation. And you deserve a talented, beautiful (on the inside and out), kind virgin. It's the truth.
4. I know that you originally didn't really want me to go today, but I hope we are friends. We are in my opinion, but I don't know about yours.
5. I wish you didn't like me so much. You're a great friend to me, but you don't deserve the pain that you already know is going to come. You will make some girl very happy one day.
P.S. Epiphany! The day you can say you have moved on, is the day you realize the reason behind something bad that happened to you. I hope whoever reads that understands it.
1. I have so many great memories, but the feelings attached to them are some of the worst feelings I've ever felt. It is impossible not to be reminded of you. The littlest things spark a thought in my mind, an old memory, one good day among many amazing ones. All I can think about anymore is how much I wish I could go back, and how I will never be able to. Things leave, people leave, and life doesn't stop for anybody. I will never forget you, but I need to forever let you go. I am trying with every inch of strength I have, but it's hard. One of the toughest things I've ever tried to do, and had to do.
2. I was so unsure of everything earlier today, and seeing you just now cleared so many of my cloudy thoughts from the sky that is my mind. Maybe I still don't know exactly what I want, but I at least know this.....you are amazing. Don't ever forget that, babe.
3. You are a truly great guy. I may not know you as well as your family and friends do, but I can see it in you. You are an all around great person. I adore you, I really do.....but the thing is, there are too many cons with our situation. And you deserve a talented, beautiful (on the inside and out), kind virgin. It's the truth.
4. I know that you originally didn't really want me to go today, but I hope we are friends. We are in my opinion, but I don't know about yours.
5. I wish you didn't like me so much. You're a great friend to me, but you don't deserve the pain that you already know is going to come. You will make some girl very happy one day.
P.S. Epiphany! The day you can say you have moved on, is the day you realize the reason behind something bad that happened to you. I hope whoever reads that understands it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
